Thursday, April 12, 2007

iPod Infinity

(inspired by The Book of Sand by one of my favorite authors Jorges Luis Borges).

Since its introduction in 2000, subsequent versions of Apple's iPod have been getting physically smaller, while their capacity has steadily increased. Following these trends, it is just a matter of time before Apple introduces - iPod Infinity.

Not only does iPod Infinity have infinite storage space, but iPod Infinity comes pre-loaded with an infinite amount of stored songs, (saved in uncompressed aiff format since you have no limit on storage space). Just think what that means, iPod Infinity ships with every song ever recorded, and all the ones that never were! Hear the original performance of Bach's Brandenberg Concerto, performed with original instruments at a time that no recording equipment existed! Hear the basement tapes of John Lennon and Paul McCartney, and all the songs they never had a chance to compose. Listen to Janis Joplin singing live with Bono, and hear Jim Croce's cover version of Metallica's "Seek and Destroy."

Imagine it. With iPod Infinity, you never have to run out of storage space to put your movies, videos, and music. iPod Inifinity always has room for more. Ipod's new double-up feature moves all the tracks from track 1 to 2, from track 2 to track 4, track 3 to track 6, etc. and this creates room on all the odd-numbered tracks on the infinite disk, allowing for an infinite number of new downloads. Sorry, gift cards in the amount of infinite dollars are not available at this time.

Plus. if you buy now, you will receive every song that has not been written yet. You'll be able to hear Avril Lavigne crooning jazz standards from recordings she wll make in 30 years, and the next 100 years of Billboard hits.

One warning; because of the infinite capacity of the iPod Infinity, it is unlikely you will ever find the same song twice, creating the most awesome shuffle ever. Sadly, some users have reported frustration at hearing several versions of a song, varying by only one note. The most serious drawback has been that the song titles for all material consists of a random string of characters, so that Bruckner's 9th Symphony perfomed in Munich in 1932 has the unfortunate name of $F63896A6383745E5638683462A3. Hopefully 3rd parties will upload meaningful song labels as they are discovered.

Enjoy your iPod Infinity!